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Quick numbers, no login

Rough math you can run in ten seconds. None of it's a diagnosis, and a calculator has never met you. If something here looks off, that's your cue to get real labs and a real conversation, not to panic at a number.

Fast gut checksBMI, calories, caffeine, alcohol, and low T
No loginUse the tools without handing over data
Plain mathUseful numbers, not fake certainty
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Pick what hits

What are you trying to figure out?

Quick math

Fast numbers, no drama.

Body mass index

What's my BMI really mean?

BMI is a blunt instrument. It can't tell muscle from fat, so a guy who lifts can read "overweight" while carrying very little of it. Useful as a rough flag, useless as a verdict.

Body fat

What's my body fat?

Tape-measure math, not a DEXA scan. It's useful when BMI is acting like every lifter is a public-health emergency.

Daily calories

How much should I eat?

An estimate of what you burn in a day (the Mifflin-St Jeor equation, the one most dietitians actually use). Eat around maintenance to hold, a bit under to lose. Bodies vary, so treat this as a starting line, not gospel.

Caffeine

Is coffee wrecking my sleep?

Caffeine has a half-life of about six hours, so half of that afternoon cup is still in you six hours later. If you lie awake wired or your anxiety spikes at night, that's often the quiet culprit. See how much is still circulating at bedtime.

Rough guide: brewed coffee about 95mg a cup, espresso shot 65mg, energy drink 80mg, tea 45mg, cola 35mg.

Alcohol

Do I drink too much?

No lecture, just the math against the usual guidelines. One drink means a regular beer, a glass of wine, or a shot. Count an honest week, the kind you wouldn't round down on.

Body + recovery

Sleep, hormones, waist, pressure, and training zones.

Low testosterone

Is my testosterone low?

Check the ones that have been true for a few weeks or longer. It's a gut-check, not a blood test. Only actual labs settle it, and plenty of these overlap with stress, bad sleep, or just a rough season.

Sleep debt

How bad is my sleep debt?

Sleep debt compounds. Weekend catch-up helps at the margins but doesn't undo the cognitive and hormonal hit from chronic short sleep. Here's your weekly tally.

Protein

How much protein do I need?

The RDA of 0.36g per pound was set for survival, not for someone trying to hold muscle through a cut or actually build. Here's what the research supports.

Waist circumference

Is my waist a problem?

Waist size is a better metabolic risk predictor than BMI. Visceral fat, the kind packed around your organs, is what raises risk for insulin resistance, heart disease, and low T. Measure at the belly button, not your belt line.

Blood pressure

What do my BP numbers mean?

Most people have seen a reading but don't know what the numbers actually mean beyond "high" or "fine." Here's the AHA breakdown with some context attached.

Heart rate zones

What zone am I training in?

Zone 2 is where most aerobic adaptation actually happens, but most guys spend all their time in Zone 3 and wonder why they plateau. Five zones based on the Tanaka max HR formula, which is more accurate than 220-minus-age.

Mental load

Burnout and stress, counted honestly.

Focus

Why can't I focus?

The internet wants every focus problem to be ADHD or laziness. Cute theory. Usually it's sleep, stress, anxiety, burnout, ADHD, substances, or some annoying cocktail of all of them.

Mood

Am I depressed or burned out?

Both can look like a man staring at a wall and calling it "rest." This splits the flavor a little so you know what conversation to have first.

Anxiety

Is this anxiety or panic?

Anxiety is the group chat that won't stop. Panic is the body slamming the emergency button. Neither means you're broken, but both deserve better than pretending.

Sleep trouble

Why can't I sleep?

Sleep is simple until you try to do it. This checks the usual culprits: insomnia, caffeine, alcohol, schedule chaos, anxiety, and snoring that deserves a witness statement.

Cognitive burnout

Am I burned out?

Burnout and ADHD look almost identical from the inside: flat motivation, short fuse, brain fog, can't start things you used to do easily. This doesn't sort the cause. But if you're stacking a lot of these boxes you're running on empty regardless of cause, and that's the thing to address first.

Stress load

How much is on my plate?

Not an anxiety test. A headcount of active stressors, because the body doesn't distinguish between self-imposed and unavoidable. More stressors means more cortisol, worse sleep, worse decisions, and worse everything downstream. Doesn't matter whether each one feels "bad enough" to count.

Substances

The stuff that helps until it starts charging interest.

Cannabis

Is weed running the meeting?

No pearl-clutching. Just a check for whether weed is still a tool or has quietly become the manager.

Nicotine

Is nicotine running me?

Cigarettes, vapes, pouches, whatever. Nicotine is excellent at pretending it's a personality trait.

Labs + preventive

Show up with better questions than "is that bad?"

Bloodwork

What labs should I ask about?

This doesn't order labs. It helps you walk into a visit with a cleaner list, because "check everything" is how you get both too much and not enough.

Men's health

The stuff guys Google at 1:13 a.m. and pretend they didn't.

Self-check

What should I check down there?

Not glamorous. Worth knowing. The point isn't to diagnose yourself, it's to know your normal well enough to notice a change.

Sexual health

Why is my sex drive off?

Normal medical stuff. Bodies are allowed to have symptoms even when everyone gets weird about the topic.

Hair loss

Why am I losing hair?

Some shedding is normal. A shower drain with main-character energy is still worth sorting by pattern.

Weight meds

Should I ask about weight meds?

A GLP-1 isn't a moral achievement or a character flaw. It's a tool. The question is whether it fits the job.

Mental health self-check

How am I actually doing?

23 questions across 13 areas of mental health, about 5 minutes. Not a diagnosis. At the end it tells you which areas came up elevated and optionally texts you the specific validated follow-up questionnaires for those areas, so you walk into any conversation with a clinician already holding real data.

In the past 2 weeks, how much have you been bothered by each of the following?

I.Depression
1. Little interest or pleasure in doing things?
2. Feeling down, depressed, or hopeless?
II.Anger
3. Feeling more irritated, grouchy, or angry than usual?
III.Mania
4. Sleeping less than usual, but still having a lot of energy?
5. Starting lots more projects than usual or doing more risky things than usual?
IV.Anxiety
6. Feeling nervous, anxious, frightened, worried, or on edge?
7. Feeling panic or being frightened for no reason?
8. Avoiding situations that make you anxious?
V.Somatic Symptoms
9. Unexplained aches and pains (e.g., head, back, joints, abdomen, legs)?
10. Feeling that your illnesses are not being taken seriously?
VI.Suicidal Ideation
11. Thoughts of actually hurting yourself?
VII.Psychosis
12. Hearing things other people couldn't hear, such as voices even when no one was around?
13. Feeling that someone could hear your thoughts, or that you could hear what another person was thinking?
VIII.Sleep Problems
14. Problems with sleep that affected your sleep quality overall?
IX.Memory
15. Problems with memory (e.g., learning new information) or with location (e.g., finding your way home)?
X.Repetitive Thoughts & Behaviors
16. Unpleasant thoughts, urges, or images that repeatedly entered your mind?
17. Feeling driven to perform certain behaviors or mental acts over and over again?
XI.Dissociation
18. Feeling detached or distant from yourself, your body, your surroundings, or your memories?
XII.Personality Functioning
19. Not knowing who you truly are or what you want out of life?
20. Not feeling close to other people or enjoying your relationships with them?
XIII.Substance Use
21. Drinking at least 4 drinks of any kind of alcohol in a single day?
22. Smoking any cigarettes, a cigar, or pipe, or using snuff or chewing tobacco?
23. Using any medicines on your own without a prescription, in greater amounts or longer than prescribed (e.g., painkillers, stimulants, sedatives, marijuana, cocaine, heroin, or methamphetamine)?

DSM-5 Self-Rated Level 1 Cross-Cutting Symptom Measure (Adult). Reproduced for clinical/educational use per APA guidelines. Not a substitute for evaluation by a licensed clinician.

None of these replace a clinician. If a number or a screen here lines up with how you actually feel, that's worth a real workup. Reach out and we'll sort out what's actually going on.